NYC Bikers

Life is meant to be lived on the back of a bike. At least the fun parts. This blog is an effort on my part to convert the world into bikers, starting with my friends living here in Fresh Meadows! Even if I have to do it single handedly, I will civilize the bikers of New York!

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Bicycle Gangs of the Lower East Side

This is a rough and tumble city full of sadistic cabbies, hipsters on fixies in a hurry, and Lycra-cad angry bikers trying to maintain proper cadence. Even Google mocks my slowness. Google, when giving you biking directions, assumes you are going to bike at least 10mph. On my roadster, which is my bike of choice 90% of the time, I average about 7.5mph.

What's a vulnerable "slow" biker to do for protection and safety from harassment, violence, and assault whilst biking the dark, foreboding streets in Gotham? You do what the oppressed masses have done for centuries - you join a syndicate, a mafia, a cartel, a church, a union, a rock band, also known as a gang. I joined a beer and food loving BICYCLE gang! Just don't stand between the gang and an ice cream after a ride or you will feel their wrath!
A bike gang social club. Notice security outside.

You feel safe in your gang because we all know there is safety and thus power in numbers. A car may attack a solitary biker, but a car is afraid of 10 or 15 bikers together. They really are - you can see the fear in their eyes when they slowly realize we are taking over. If you want to join the bicycle gang click here to visit their Facebook page or click here to visit their Meetup page. I promise you once you do, you will come back for more bicycle punishment and gang initiation rites like... Waiting at red lights even though no cars are coming or crossing over bridges multiple times or even the dreaded triple food stop!

The Beatles had rum and coke...
Sometimes the gang runs by night.
Sometimes the gang runs by day.

Cow Bike!

Cow Bike!
Maes kept getting attacked by the cows whenever she biked through the fields. She decided camouflage would be the only way to survive.

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